I think i’m blogworthy?
How self serving is a blog? Do you think that you’re so interesting that other people will want to read about yourself? Or are you really that interesting? Are your thoughts that provocative and endearing? Where does the line fall of “I’m pretty cool, someone wants to read about me?” I think at some point I’ll have enough thoughts on this strange world to deem myself blog worthy, considering right now I’m only writing on a regular ass document because I can’t sleep.
Ambien should be kicking in eventually. I think my new weapon against insomnia might be just writing whatever the hell I’ve been thinking, although that could also have the adverse effect of keeping my brain churning out the dumb fucking thoughts that typically hinders my ability to get to sleep. I simply cannot understand how someone can just lay down and sleep? Its beyond me because I’ll just lay there thinking of my joblessness, our moving, getting a new cat, how long will my car last, how Katie’s mom is doing, wondering about my family…that was about 10 seconds of what I’ll go through.
Here could be a fucked up string of my thoughts….watching Jimmy Fallon, remembering Conan will be back soon, remembering staying up senior year watching Conan and then when something good happens like “the masturbating bear” makes an appearance, Justin will be witness to it as well. That makes me wonder what Justin is up to in Augusta, Ga. Then I start remembering how much fun, how great life was in Augusta growing up, and then realize how shitty life in mid-Michigan is….this is the non-stop shit that goes through my head. Any one little idea spawns this shit-storm of thoughts that never end unless I apply enough beer/wine/booze to do a relatively good job of shutting down my brain.
Lack of sleep is fucking horrible, until you get around 2-3 hours of sleep a night, for two-three weeks in a row you don’t realize what the fuck it will do to you. My short term memory, which has never been good, went to complete shit. Katie would have to remind me of shit we talked about 14 hours prior. I forgot when she’d be studying and I’d blow up her cell phone because she wasn’t home yet. Susan witnessed me after a good 2.5 hour sleep night. Still don’t know why she let me watch her children, no other option I guess. The whole time all I wanted was to nap, got Seani to sleep but Eva was being a jerk and wouldn’t sleep. I was offering her money to just take a fucking nap.
What really blows about my inability to sleep, or to stay asleep without my CPAP machine is how fucking opposite Katie is….Fuck me the woman could sleep though a raping. She just does that lip smack “pthwat, pthwat”….. Sleeping is to Katie what bacon is to me! She power naps through weed wackers and fucking gas powered blowers, with the window open and her sleeping BELOW THE FUCKING WINDOW! What was funny is that I was on the computer listening to a podcast and I kept lowering the volume so that I wouldn’t disturb that fucking zombie. I cranked it after the blower guy went by. Katie can rock out a nap from 4-8pm (she wakes up for prime time, its innate how she does it) and then watch 2-3 hours of her programs (sounds like an old lady…”hmmm, my programs are on”) and the cleanup, and zonk out again and be asleep in like 3 minutes.
